Wellbeing Warriors - Is wellbeing meant to be a struggle? (Plus a free download & helpful links)

Today I'm sharing my journey to becoming a wellbeing professional with you, and answering some questions about the quest for wellbeing along the way!

Back in 2014, burnt out from teaching full-time, raising my family and managing our home, my body let me know that its score card was full. The first night in our new home, exhausted from packing and moving in-between still working full teaching weeks, my knee swelled up, my joints ached and both my arms and hands were in excruciating pain. It had been a long emotional journey during the previous few years, but at that time, things were actually looking up - including being in a new relationship that felt so good in so many ways.

But, as most of you will know, wellbeing is a whole body and being thing. When we put pressure in one part of us, it tends to overflow out into another. We can’t push down and keep going - the stress, the anxiety, the big deal that life and relationships really are just leak into another part of us.

So an emotional stress and trauma can show up as a physical condition. Psychological pressure can wreak havoc with our emotional stability. Financial struggles can create a spiral of insecurity and masking. Relationship tension can keep us in fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode. A physical condition can impact our emotional wellbeing and confidence. A spiritual disappointment can cause us to question our whole life’s foundations. And so it goes on. For all of us. Because we are holistic beings.

At the time, I had private medical insurance and was able to see a rheumatologist within a couple of weeks with a full set of blood tests my GP had done. Looking through my medical history, he could see that having had glandular fever as a teen and what is now called Fatty Liver Syndrome but at the time was still called “Non A, Non B hepatitis” in early adulthood, he told me this:

“Your body is prone to conditions that include fatigue. I’ll run more tests but I suspect that you have a temporary type of arthritis and that it’s been triggered by contact with a virus like slapped cheek disease or measles and that the stress of your life has exacerbated it. My sister’s a teacher. My advice: get out of teaching now.”

Wow! He turned out to be right. The arthritis hung around intensely for a fair while, but did, with medication and a change of lifestyle, drift away. Recovery initially was complete rest. Something that a doer like me really didn’t like.

And in that time, I don’t remember quite how, I completed an evidence-based questionnaire that told me I was depressed. I didn’t want to hear it. “Me?” I thought. “I’m positive. Everyone says how strong and independent I am (I now know what a red flag that really can be!) and things are getting better after a truly intense and awful few years.” And yet, I had a moment of deep acknowledgement: I may be an overcomer (something I was raised to be), but I was one who was truly sad and stressed deep inside. Deep below the keeping going, the managing, the successes, the day to day laughter and the joy of making new friends, maybe I really was depressed?

So began my dive into understanding wellbeing from a much wider lens than the spiritual one that I had grown up with and lived by up until then. I read a lot, I saw a holistic physio who helped release the tension through really intensive massage and acupuncture (not the woo woo kind people, it’s medically proven and oh my days did it make a difference!). She also taught me how to pace myself with activity and rest and how to get better slowly whilst also working on the psychological aspects like brain gym.

Typical of me, I did this with my all, and over the following months I did, indeed, leave my job in teaching and began an online paralegal course in Family Law. I looked at coaching as something to retrain in, but at that point it just felt like too much. Within the year, I was back to temporary teaching contracts whilst also studying.

But although my general wellbeing had improved, my inner story, my inner attitude to getting on with life and putting everyone else first hadn’t change much. With a particularly rough peri-menopause entering the scene, by 2017 I was at that point once again when the stress of life had leaked into every part of me and… I experienced migraines so severe that before they were diagnosed I was in the emergency room more than once with suspected strokes. It wasn’t a great season for me personally, that’s for sure, but it led me back to wellbeing once again.

I now know that the burnout and physical expression of that in me was preceded by something called high functioning depression. I’ve linked a really insightful and relatable video interview at the end of this article about this. But first, back to my journey.

Resisting the pressure to see this all as entirely spiritual, I knew there was more to this than a singe answer or fix it response. I knew this was holistic, not just in me, but also in others as well. It’s never just one thing, it’s all interlinked. From my years in pastoral ministry and leadership, I also had a determination that if I was going to work with people on their lives, I wanted to be professionally trained to do so.

Something that has long bothered me about the Christian “scene” is that not everyone in leadership has the understanding and training to support people in the things they bring to them. I have to say that in recent years, there has, thankfully, been a move to pastors getting degrees, church counsellors getting accreditations and people realising that mental and emotional health requires a holistic response as well as a spiritual and community one.

In this second significant health crisis time, I recognised the trauma that both myself and my children had experienced. I also noticed the clear somatic (physical) response that I had - and still do today to a lesser degree - to emotional trauma or challenge. My walk with God was still there. I spent time with him. I prayed. And I knew that wellbeing is not simply about going to church.

It was at this time, six years ago, that I signed up for a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology. In many ways, a lot of what I learnt dovetails right in with my experience of God, his compassion and the principles and disciplines of faith that we learn from scripture. Gratitude, forgiveness, self-compassion and compassion for others, the link between physical action and our wellbeing to name but a few. These are all things that now have a huge evidence base of research behind them. Meditation as well. I wanted professional understanding, training and supervision.

Anyone who trains professionally in counselling, psychology, therapy or coaching psychology will tell you that you learn as much about yourself when you train as you do about how to support others. It’s a personal growth journey as well as a professional one.

At that time, early 2018, I began seeing my first clients and posting about wellbeing online. Oh my days! Mental and emotional health and wellbeing hadn’t become the global phenomenon it is today yet then. It wasn’t on everyone’s lips and in everyone’s feeds. But over recent years and with the Pandemic accelerating this, content, information (both good, mixed up and downright unhelpful) is easy to access on the internet now.

It’s only 6 years or so ago, but then I felt like I was walking a tightrope on how to write and post about wellbeing - especially alongside Christian faith. But now, a few years in and that Post-Graduate Diploma under my belt, there is so much more general knowledge out there in people and many, many people who understand the importance of caring for ourselves and others holistically as well as seeking professional support. I paused my studies before I completed the dissertation, for a few reasons. One of them was that I really wasn’t sure what to do my own original research in.

Fast forward to today, and I’m now definitely in my own professional groove of mentoring and supporting leaders, individuals and other wellbeing professionals in their inner narrative and relationship with themselves. This affects everything, from how they feel about themselves, how they relate with others, run their business and show up as leaders, co-workers and friends. It’s coaching, not therapy. Whilst we acknowledge their inner story so far, we work on the threads of those as they are now so that they can move forward with a more confident and more peaceful relationship with who they really are and what they are doing.

In the business world, you’d say that’s my niche. In the professional world, it’s my area of passion and specialism. One that I focus on here in the Strengthen community very much with God as part of that, and also in my other professional work were clients can include God as part of our coaching conversation - or not, if they don’t want to.

I called this piece today Wellbeing Warriors because I feel that when I started my wellbeing journey, it was tough. I had to set my face to the wind in that and put it in the personal work and action. Along the way, I’ve met many other professional Wellbeing Warriors and coached others in their wellbeing too - equipping them to change their relationship with their wellbeing along the way.

Here in late 2024 as we head into 2025, it’s such a good thing to see the internet awash with helplines, professionals and wellbeing services. But… our modern, western world and church communities continue to carry so much risk to our individual wellbeing. When I see schools, community groups, business leaders and church leaders actually take wellbeing seriously and put really beneficial training and support in place (not tick box stuff) then my heart feels really glad. The army of Wellbeing Warriors is growing.

Should wellbeing really be such a struggle? Let me flip that question a bit to answer it:

I don’t believe that wellbeing in itself is the struggle. Hear me out. Life is full of ups and downs, and we are created to be able to respond to those. Everything from our fight, flight, freeze and fawn response to the holistic way we are designed where our body does keep the score but also serves our wellbeing too. So no, wellbeing in itself is not the real struggle, life is. That’s the battleground.

Life is unpredictable, and we have the toolbox to deal with it within us and it’s strengthened with the support of others. The biggest breakthrough in wellbeing - ask any professional - is acknowledging something is out of kilter and reaching out for the help we need. When we struggle with our wellbeing, we are really struggling with life and how to respond to that. The interview that I’ve linked below also supports this attitude to wellbeing - we’re hardwired for it and when our inner flame is dwindling, there is help and there is hope.

You see, wellbeing professionals are not simply warriors trying to advance a cause, they are also compassionate healers and encouragers who know that by lifting the lid on the inner workings and inner stress we all experience, we create a climate and the safe relationships to help each other heal, become healthy on the inside and to grow in our emotional and social intelligence.

Through the storms of life and the unexpected crisis events, as well as our crazy, pressurised modern world, our inner balance can get out sync. It’s not us, it’s life. And there is hope and a way forward for all of us.

Trying to work on our wellbeing on our own, in isolation often leads to us blaming ourselves for the struggle. This is why it’s important to reach out, ask for help and talk with others. You are not alone and there is hope and help for you.

Resources to dive into:

If you recognise yourself as a high-capacity person and you’ve experienced burnout “out of nowhere” or suddenly in a season when you were carrying or juggling many others, I invite you to listen to this podcast by Mel Robbins. I now have a name for what preceded my physical body saying “Enough” to me: High functioning depression. If you pride yourself on your resilience, grab a cuppa and check in with yourself as you listen or watch this:

This week, I also shared an 8day journalling collective on Hope with the Strengthen Insiders in the Living Well audio. They have a pdf download and a mini mastermind audio talking through the evidence base and actions that accompany it. If you pop to THIS LINK you’ll find the tip to take action on and the quote to meditate or journal on for each of the 8 days. The link to download a pdf you can use to journal or reflect on is below.

If you or someone you care about is really struggling with life at the moment and their emotional and mental health is being impacted, then head to these UK charities for helplines and advice. Don’t be afraid to tell them that you love and care for them. Encourage them to talk to someone:

https://www.mind.org.uk

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Here’s that Hope Collective journalling and meditation download for you too:

Strengthen 8 Day Hope Collective

4.56MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

This coming week, so that I don’t overload myself whilst I’m doing all the website changes and admin work to launch a new programme in my coaching business, Strengthen Insiders will be enjoying a Buffet Post on each devotional day. These are a curated post with several links to around 7 of the devotionals sets already published.

I have to say that every time I do this, I feel as though I am letting people down but… every time I get feedback about how good it has been to explore the treasure trove of devotionals we have in the Strengthen archive! So that’s a narrative in my head and heart that I am working on changing!

Thank you so much for joining me today. I pray for wisdom and insight for yourself for your own wellbeing and the courage to take action where it’s needed.

What’s your wellbeing journey been like? Are you in a better place today with it?

Let me know your thoughts on wellbeing in the world we live in via the comments below and consider subscribing or upgrading if you haven’t already.

Have a great week ahead!